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Jhon Ebgret
|title = Boss of Wheels}}Jhon Ebgret is one of the main characters of Cool and New Web Comic. Jhon uses the online application known as Pesterchum to communicate with his other internet friends. His chumhandle is echoBiologist. It used to be ghostTricser, but he later changed it, presumably to avoid the trolls. Although he is the first character introduced, he is arguably the antagonist of the series, causing most of the strife and anguish between characters, knowingly or unknowingly. Biography Childhood When Jhon was created through ectobiology by Dadd, he immediately began making out with Momi and stripped Dabe naked. He was soon teleported away onto a meteor during the Wreckining, along with two hams, Momi's eyes, and Dabe's Bro's mouth. Presumably this has the same result as Homestuck, with the meteor killing Nanna, and leading to his adoption by Dadd. At some point Jhon became friends with kids his age over the internet; Roze Lallonk, Dabe Stidrer, Jaed Hardly, Swet Bro, and Hecka Jef. Jhon also came in contact with Vrasky Sekret, a troll from another universe, who became his daddy. Eventually Jhon changed his name from ghostTricser to echoBiologest. Jhon also began some BDSM play of his own with Dadd and Dabe. He also apparently becomes skilled at making roller coasters, enough so that Femorafreack is aware that he does it and that they are dangerous. In mid-March, Dabe moves in with his daddy Jhon. Pre-Entry The story begins on his birthday. He made a hamcake, removes and captchalogues his own kidney. Dabe is handcuffed and gagged in the CHEST OF CONTEnts. He then hits on Rose, and is trolled by Kraket. This simultaneous rejection and attack hurts his self esteem, leading him to throw a pickaxe out his window just as Swet Bro jumped up to say hi, killing him. It's not clear if Jhon was aware of Swet Bro before he threw the axe, and he refers to it later as "a unfotunate acident/on purpose death". Regardless, he doesn't appear to regret it at all, focusing instead on retrieving his packages from Dadd, which he does by captchaloguing his hand, and orders Dadd to hide the body. He crashes through the first story window to retrieve Dadd's pda. Having obtained both the server and client copies of Sburb, Jhon connects to Rose's computer to begin playing. However, the game seems to complicated, so he immediately gives up in favor of playing Roller Coaster Tycoon, which is on the back of his Sburb disk. This allows him to create a real roller coaster in his backyard, designed to launch people straight into the air. Meanwhile, Dabe's punishment timer ends, and he is released from the chest. At his suggestion, Jhon opens his presents from Dabe and Jaed, being the Con Air Bunny and the Uber Bunny respectively. Jhon is disappointed by Dabe's gift since Jaed's is basically a cooler version of the same bunny, and partly due to WV's interference years in the future, orders him to stand in the corner with no clothes. Jhon goes downstairs to check on Dadd's progress in hiding the body, and also burns the harlequin doll he got him, He finds that Dadd has baked Swet Bro's body into a cake. He captchalogues a few bits and pieces of him, and eats the rest of the cake as Officer Femorafreack arrives at the scene. Jhon lies to him, saying there was no murder, to get him out, which works. Jhon uses the pda to talk to Rose, who makes a last ditch effort to convince him to play by offering to go on a date with him, but he still refuses. Femorafreack spots the roller coaster in the backyard and goes to arrest Jhon. Jhon releases the Uber Bunny to defend him and escapes to the rollercoaster along with Dabe, Dadd, and the Uber Bunny. They are all launched into a Sburb portal. Entry Now flying through space near Skya, Jhon poses for a selfie with Swet Bro's finger. Dabe recognizes its coloring, and Jhon reveals that he murdered Swet Bro. Dabe is outraged by this, but they quickly kiss and make up. This calls the attention of HB and Jack Noir, who orders AR to destroy their roller coaster. Each section of the roller coaster divides, flying off in different directions, with Jhon's crashing directly into Rose's room. Jhon immediately begins to undress for their "date" and offers her his kidney, but Rose immediately shuts him down. When Rose reveals she is aware of his relation with Dabe, he becomes extremely embarrassed, blushing so hard his entire face turns red. He follows Rose outside, and immediately begins making out with Momi. He attempts to prototype himself with Bg'ogubglog'ybulsprite, but he continually dodges him. After Jack's ship crashes on top of Momi, Jhon steals her shoes to smell. When Rose comes by though, he quickly stops to push the ship off of her corpse, while also captchaloguing Momi's feet. Rose moves it away with telekinetic powers, and Jhon unsuccessfully attempts to revive Momi. He finally flings her body into Bg'ogubglog'ybulsprite, who is transformed into Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite, and they immediately begin making out again. Jaed pesters Jhon to tell him of her progress in wooing Rose, which he is jealous of. He captchalogues one of the froges Jack killed and throws his kidney at Rose. She throws it back at him, knocking him out of Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite's slimy embrace, and attempts to woo Rose himself. This backfires tremendously, and he reenters Rose's house. He is then contacted by Vrasky, who orders him to collect his birthday present from Rose and start up another Roller Coaster Tycoon session. The game sends Jhon messages from someone that speaks in white text, telling him he needs to make a park with at least 413 guests and a rating of at least 612/1000 in under an hour. He quickly goes about this, setting up plenty of deadly roller coasters, while also making out with Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite again. Eventually they stop once grimdark AR arrives to talk to Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite, and Jhon notices that Jack is riding the Merry Go Hornses without paying. He increases its speed to dangerous levels, eventually flinging Jack off. With a second to spare, he successfully gets 413 guests with a park rating of 617, and is given a victory coaster to take him to the next scenario, similar to the one he entered the session with. He is teleported to a new planet covered in lava shooting up in fountains and small purple islands. Land of Dollers and Danger Jhon wanders his planet, the Land of Dollers and Danger, and meets several of its crocodile consorts. They inform him of his role as the legendary Boss of Wheels, who will save the economy from President Obana by building a really awesome theme park. He bribes one of the guards to the Whyte Hous with $1410.17, a plurple bug, a page from Rose's grimoire entitled "The Unholly Sekret to Limitless Horrer and Destruction", and a cool hat. Jhon sneaked into the Whyte Hous by walking on his tiptoes and challenged Obana for the planet. However, the Sekret Service shot him. His bullet-riddled body fell out the window, but was caught by a roller coaster Jhon summoned through his Wheel powers. Still, the injuries were still grievous enough to kill him a short time later after sending a final message to Rose, asking for help. Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite mourned his death and asked Rose to revive Jhon with a kiss, but it failed as he lacks a dreamself. Rose then froze Jhon's body in time, which will allow Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite to take his body to his Quest Coaster. She also set out to create dream bubbles for Jhon to spend time in while dead. Jhon then spent an indeterminate amount of time as a ghost, meeting up with other ghosts along the way. When he met a doomed Hecka Jef, Hecka tried to get his revenge against Jhon before he resurrected by attracting the attention of . However, Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite was able to resurrect him right before destruction, raising him as a god tier Boss of Wheels. Jhon acquired Dabe's glasses, turned red when they were prototyped with Germysprit, and begins making out with Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite once more, until Hrates Bocars reunited him with Dabe. Jhon made Dabe wear his bee costume, and proved to be somewhat useful in the fight, using his power over wheels to destroy the Obanacopter and steering Femorafreack's car off a cliff. Personality and Traits Jhon's personality has significantly diverged from John Egbert's. While John is a lighthearted prankster, Jhon is a brainless sex-crazed sociopath. He's a rude, irredeemable monster, even by the screwed up moral values of the corrupted world. He doesn't seem to care about other people at all, except insofar as they are useful to him. He's entirely unapologetic to the people he hurts, won't even take on mild discomforts to help out his friends, nor show any gratitude for the great pains they tend to put themselves through. His abusive nature eventually drives his own father away from him. He's entirely obsessed with sex, not only engaging in his sub/dom play with Dabe, but with his own father, Momi, and attempts to get Rose to date him as well while he's also pining after Vrasky. Perhaps even more disturbing is his fascination with body parts. He constantly collects dead objects for unknown purposes. This may be connected to his incredible control over his own body's distortions, allowing him to perform incredible feats such as painlessly open up his own chest to remove his own internal organs. Jhon is uninterested in harlequins, but does not fear them as in Homestuck. This would make sense because John's fear was derived from Gamzee working his chucklevoodoos on his dreamself, which does not exist in CaNWC. Dadd seems to have picked up an interest in it anyway, oddly enough. He still seems to have maintained an interests in pranks, as he still has copies of "Wise Guy" and "Kernel Sassacer." Jhon seems to lack the inherent playfulness needed to take pranking seriously, being too caught up in his sexual frustrations and prone to violence. Boss of Wheels Jhon's title as the Boss of Wheels is both a mystery and a very obvious joke. The class and aspect are both original to CaNWC, meaning we have little information about it, but the name is also obviously just a twist on the phrase "Rollercoaster Tycoon." Given that both Rose Lalonde and Hecka Jef became master class players, it's possible that a Boss would also be a similarly highly ranked class. The boss class might also relate to Jhon's obsession with BDSM, which is particularly high even among corrupted characters. The wheels aspect obviously grants Jhon control over rollercoasters, and possibly other forms of transportation, as when he stopped the rotors of the Obanacopter, and took over the steering wheel of Femorafreack's pollice car. Trivia * o has declared Jhon Ebgret the [http://mspfanventures.com/?s=14113&p=490 worst character in CaNWC]. This parallels Hussie's own assertion in ''Homestuck ''that Cronus is the worst character. Category:CaNWC Protagonists/Allies Category:Humans Category:Characters